Sunday, 21 September 2014

The curse of the Aquarius.

               The curse of the Aquarius.

Now I can’t obviously vouch for all Aquarians on this planet, but after a little reading and having a look through Aquarius associated quotes….I feel that it may not just be me. Maybe it’s the whole Aquarians race that is doomed by one simple thing…..our mind.

I know my mind doesn’t work in a “normal” manor.  I perceive things in a very different way to others. Sometimes this is a good thing and others it is my own mental hell.

Aquarians don’t have the ability to just nod and agree when we know something is a load of rubbish. I can only do this for a while over certain things. Sometimes I just nod and agree even though I know its rubbish what the other person is saying, it’s simply because I am entertaining myself to see just how far and how much rubbish spills out their mouth. My thought process is simply along the lines of… “Do they think I am falling for this, surely not, there are so many obvious factors that are running against this ridiculous excuse or story, do they believe their own story, and should I just bring them up on it, should I just see how long this spill of rubbish continues?”

After recent contributing factors my brain has gone into over drive with thinking. Thanks to one person. Life would be a breeze if everyone just told it how it is, why does it seem so hard for people to do this?? Apparently it’s better to twist and change things. What’s the point of this, the only reason I can think of is they see it as the easiest option. How you ask….I’m not 100% sure. I think they feel it’s the best option. It’s better to lie to twist things into a way they think its ok. Maybe it’s their way of tricking their own brain into this made up story they have created.

So, to the matter in hand. My brain is in a turmoil, the dreaded "over thinking". Due to my graphic imagination it’s like a court case in my head. With the prosecution and the defendant at logger heads and there I am standing in the middle with my hands over my head wishing to just vanish and disappear from the entire thing.

The trouble I have is I can’t agree with either side. To be honest I don’t want to. I want both sides and I know this can’t happen. There’s the side where all logic is and for some stupid reason I don’t want to listen but still listen. I also listen to the side that seems to convince myself that what actions I take are ok for different reasons.

Oh how simple it would be to have a diagram to follow to make choices. I hate not being in control, of not knowing, of being unsure. I like being the one that has control and understands everything.

I don’t think I will make a concrete deciding factor till I have too. I have the opportunity to be able to flow with both sides. Who knew one person could turn your world so on itself. How can a person that can make me so happy make me so angry the next second?? Maybe it’s not them I’m angry at, maybe it’s me. They do say that we take our feelings for ourselves out on others. In some way that makes sense.

I'm angry for many reasons, angry I didn’t follow my first thought, angry that I convinced myself everything was a certain way when it wasn’t, angry for wanting what you can’t have, angry for not listening to others, angry I don’t voice up like I normally do, but through all this anger I still see the good points.

My friend told me an interesting thing in relation to people…. “Read their words not emotion”.  I wasn’t sure about this. To me most words have emotion behind them; there are very few people that say what they mean. Most ways of communication now days are simply electronic. You create your own version of emotion and put that to the words that people send you. You are forever guessing. Aquarius hell….guessing. I didn’t take them for their word….I was adding the emotion to the words in a way I thought the sender was intending. Obviously I was rubbish at this.

The past 2 months I have put this advice into practice and it was working….noticing the “was”, until recently my brain has decided that I will add emotion back into the situation. It was bliss taking just the words. I knew where I stood, everything was easy to understand…..simple in fact. So why the sudden change?? I blame having too much time on my hands. The mind does crazy things when it’s able to wonder. I have started to care about things that when I sit done and think about I honestly don’t care about. Hence one reason I am writing this. Even if people don’t read this….I'm voicing it. I’m getting it out my head and not creating situations that are not really there. I don’t want an over complicated situation but I also don’t want it to be something that’s easy.

Goddess give me strength to simply brush off certain emotions. I will not fool myself. It will never be anything more….just don’t let it be anything less….let it be what it was…let it be good for all and let it be nothing but amazing memories in the far future. To look back and be grateful for the simplistic but great thing that it is.

 A few Aquarius quotes I found.

Ta Da

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